Parenting Lessons (Jun 24): Enjoying the Different Seasons of Parenthood
This is part of a monthly series where I share parenting lessons I learned on this journey.
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In June 2024, I celebrated 7 years of motherhood. It seems like a blink. Mothers with older children often say to me, The days are long, but the years are short. Now, I get a tinge of that feeling. In another blink, my elder girl will be in her teenage years. I take in the advice and treasure the days, but still, I have that bittersweet feeling of her slipping away. And of course in tough days when the girls bugged me unrelentingly, I wish they would grow more independent.
In the parenting journey, seasons change every few years. It’s hard to judge if parenting itself gets easier or more difficult. I believe it’s just getting different at each stage and whether we the parents adapt well to it. If we manage to adapt well, we will be able to embrace whatever the season is and enjoy it. It gets less physically demanding but more mentally and emotionally demanding as the children grow up – from hard to soft skills. Children learn hard skills when they are younger, and soft skills when they are older. Interestingly, in a similar way, parents have to use less hard skills and control and more soft skills in managing the children who are growing up.
I think God does ease the transitions a bit. Like before the child’s full puberty, we have a foretaste of it and a chance to practise by handling a toddler tantrum. For example, sometimes I reacted badly resulting in the mother’s guilt. However, my young child quickly forgives for me to try again. So I trial and error and learned how to let go of a little more control and parent more respectfully. Tantrums are signs a child is growing up and forming a mind of his/her own – gradually at each stage. So when they grow up to fully have a mind of their own as a teenager, hopefully, the impact of the collision would be lessened as I have already learned to let go and respect my child.
So we learn as we go along and be flexible in our parenting. And instead of reminiscing past seasons when they are cute (but forgetting the tiring night wakes), or looking forward to the future season when they are more independent (but forgetting puberty), let’s savour each season and each day. Each season has its challenges, but there is also the joy.
That’s about it, thanks for journeying with me on this parenting journey. Before you go, you might want to check out my other posts on parenting. Leave your parenting tips, comments or questions below. Love to hear from you. 🙂
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